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Can you remember your Exam?
Is it Nerver wreking?
How about the last 5 minutes??
Is it Nerver wreking?
How about the last 5 minutes??
An Ex-Wife's Revenge
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She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
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including the curtain rods.
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She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
including the curtain rods.
..
Just friend vs Best friend
A Just Friend says..hi,..hello, ..bye,... and walks away...
A Best friend always stop by your side & asks how r u doing ??
A Just Friend has never seen you cry.
A Best friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A Just Friend thinks the friendship is over, when you have an argument.
A Best friend knows that it's not a friendship, until after you've had a fight.
A Just Friend hates it when you call, after he has gone to bed.
A Best friend asks you.... why you took so long to call.
A Just Friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A Best friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A Just Friend jealous about your romantic history.
A Best friend wonders of your love story.....
A Just Friend expects you to be always there for any help.
A Best friend is always there, wherever you require any help.
A Just Friend doesn't have time in his/her busy schedule.
A Best friend always have time for you in his/her busy schedules... .
A Just Friend phones you whenever he/she has some work.
A Best friend calls you often just to hear your voice.....
A Just Friend doesnt have anything to talk to you on phone.
A Best friend doesnt know...what all to finish...
Thanks to "gaurav gehlot" who forwarded this..
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Letter to Son/Daughter
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Dear son/daughter. ..
The day that you see me old, have patience and try to understand me.
If I get dirty when eating.....if I can not dress.....have patience.
Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.
If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things a thousand and one times.....do not interrupt me.....listen to me.
When you were small, I had to read to you a thousand and one times the same story until you got to sleep......
When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me....
Remember when I had to chase you with a thousand excuses I invented, so that you would want to bath.......
When you see my ignorance on new technologies. give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile......
I taught you how to do so many things.....to eat good, to dress well......to confront life.......
When at some moment I lose my memory or the thread of our conversation. let me have the necessary time to remember.... and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous..... .as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me........
If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not.
When my tired legs do not allow me to walk.............give me your hand.......the same way I did when you made your first steps.
And when someday I become moody, and say a few nasty things...... do not get angry....... some day you will understand.. ...
Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived. Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you......You must not feel sad, angry or impotent at seeing me near you. You must be next to me. Try to understand me and help me as I did with you when you started your life.Help me to walk......help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you with a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.I love you my child......Your father
Dear son/daughter. ..
The day that you see me old, have patience and try to understand me.
If I get dirty when eating.....if I can not dress.....have patience.
Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.
If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things a thousand and one times.....do not interrupt me.....listen to me.
When you were small, I had to read to you a thousand and one times the same story until you got to sleep......
When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me....
Remember when I had to chase you with a thousand excuses I invented, so that you would want to bath.......
When you see my ignorance on new technologies. give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile......
I taught you how to do so many things.....to eat good, to dress well......to confront life.......
When at some moment I lose my memory or the thread of our conversation. let me have the necessary time to remember.... and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous..... .as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me........
If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not.
When my tired legs do not allow me to walk.............give me your hand.......the same way I did when you made your first steps.
And when someday I become moody, and say a few nasty things...... do not get angry....... some day you will understand.. ...
Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived. Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you......You must not feel sad, angry or impotent at seeing me near you. You must be next to me. Try to understand me and help me as I did with you when you started your life.Help me to walk......help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you with a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.I love you my child......Your father
Legal & Logical
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After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization ", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal? "
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers:
"Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 32 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical .."
.
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization ", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal? "
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers:
"Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 32 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical .."
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How Friendship Break?
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Both Friends Will Think
- The Other Is Busy And Will Not Contact the other, Thinking It May Be Disturbing
As Time Passes Both Will Think 
- Let The OTher Contact first
After That each Will Think
- Why I Should Contact First ?
Here Your Love Will Be Converted To Hate
Finally Without Contact The Memory Becomes Weak
They Forget Each Other.
So Keep In Touch With All..
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Before & After Marriage
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Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
After the marriage:
you can read it from bottom to the top
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Thanks to "Shaual Hamid Maideen P" for his email
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
After the marriage:
you can read it from bottom to the top
..
Thanks to "Shaual Hamid Maideen P" for his email
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